Macaroni and Marriage

It was right after feelings were hurt and sharp words were said. I wiped my tears with the sleeve of my college sweatshirt as I put the last of the dishes away only to make room for more. I placed the pot of water on the stove to boil like the anger that was inside me. Did we really just have that argument? Did I really just say that? Did he mean that like I thought he did? I can't believe we just went there.

I pulled out the blue box of noodles and powdered cheese, added the pasta to the boiling water and turned the temperature down on the stove and in my gut to avoid overflowing. I checked on the once frozen nuggets in the oven that were halfway cooked and I remembered how far we've come since we started.

Just three and a half short years ago we were in a one bedroom apartment, newly married, preparing for our first child, and all I knew how to cook for dinner was frozen chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. It was a weekly affordable staple for our beginning family. Tonight it was an easy option for a late started dinner and a way out of spending too much time in the kitchen on a Sunday evening. It was a far cry from my husband's favorite made-by-me meat loaf or chicken tortilla soup that I've learned how to make over the years, and an even further far cry from the most mouth-watering pork chops I've ever eaten (and I'm not a big fan of pork chops) that our neighbors invited us over for the night before, yet a testament to the beginning and a memento of the origin of two as one.

As I stirred the macaroni and cheese into fruition nerves were calmed and explanations were given. Although feelings still tender, we gathered round the table as one family, praying for God's continued guidance and thanking Him for our blessings, eating our macaroni and nuggets, cleaning up messy fingers and cheesy mouths capable of the most heart-melting kisses on earth.

And afterwards we turned up the music and danced in the kitchen like crazies, and I remembered why I'm here, the promises I've made, and how they make me feel loved. The journey can be hard, but these treasures are worth fighting for.

Walking in Love

Today, August 25, is mine and my husband's 3rd wedding anniversary.

In some ways I feel like there's no way 3 years have passed, but on the other hand it's hard to believe we've done as much as we have in the 3 years we've been married.  We've had 2 beautiful boys, Jayden 2.5 and Jackson 15 months (If your math isn't adding up and you're confused, you can read more about my story here then here), we've moved 3 times, bought 2 homes (not at the same time), made new friends, found a great church, and dreamed about the future.

There are good times when laughter abounds, and there are hard times when it feels like my face is covered in cake.  Sticky, hard to clean off, leaving stains on my clothes from where it falls.

I'm following a reading plan for my Bible, and this morning part of the reading was 2 John 1 (The only chapter in 2 John).  The following verses stood out to me and I'd like to share them.

"(1) To the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all those who have known the truth, (2) because of the truth which abides in us and will be with us forever: (3) Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love."

Moving on to verse 5...

"(5) And now I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another.  (6) This is love, that we walk according to His commandments.  This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it."

As I studied a little about what was going on in these verses this is what I learned - John was writing to a lady whose family was following God, staying faithful in Him, but John didn't hesitate to remind this lady that she and her family need to walk in love, lest they fall.

And this got me thinking...

Marriage isn't easy.  Being a mom isn't easy.  Taking care of a home isn't easy.

Life isn't easy.

But I will walk in love.

When I don't want to get out of bed early to take care of myself so that I can take care of my family, I'll do it anyway, because I love God and I love them.  When I don't feel like doing the umpteenth load of laundry or mopping the milk stains up off the floor, I'll do it anyway, because I love God and I love them.  And God commanded me to walk in love.

I'll ask God to help me wash my face clean, pass the stain remover over, and hold my hand to help me stand back up in Him, daily.

And I'll try to smile, even when that cake is on my face, because beside me is someone who gets cake on his face too, and we're in this together.